I don’t like ice cubes. No, not you, Ice Cube, I mean water that has been placed in a tray, put into freezer, and pulled out after the molecules have locked in place.
Of course, there are certain times when ice cubes are the best option you’ve got for keeping things cold. Coolers, for example, are definitely a great place for some good, old-fashioned ice blocks. However, it is apparent that when it comes macro structures of frozen water, crushed ice is the way to go.
Why crushed ice? Ice cubes are quantized. I constantly find myself in the extremely uncomfortable position of deciding whether I want one or two ice cubes. This is tough. With one ice cube, my drink will take forever to cool. However, with two, the whole surface of my drink will be ice cubes and when I tilt the cup towards my mouth, ice will hit me in the face. This does not happen with crushed ice. Why would I choose one or two ice cubes when I can have the equivalent of 1.6 pulverized ice cubes in my V8 Splash Tropical Mix ®? Not only do I get to choose an exact amount of ice, but the ice also cools my drink faster. I imagine I am not the only one fed up with the minimal surface area in your average ice cube. Yet I am the only one with enough guts to call ice cubes out and demand their prompt and immediate replacement in soda dispensers across the nation. Coca-Cola, listen to me. This is a revolution. Today, I announce my campaign to replace all ice cube dispensers with crushed ice dispensers, and I will not stop fighting until I get a lot closer than people expect me to get, fall a bit short, and leave millions of people angry about superdelegates and closed primaries.
Ice cubes, I am tired of chomping on you. If you can’t even melt in the 8 minutes I spend drinking my ginger ale out of a plastic cup, I don’t want you around anymore. Viva crushed ice.
Crushed ice: 9.6/10
Ice cubes: 5.6/10
Ice Cube: 8.2/10
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Hi Mr. WordPress,
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Here goes nothing.
This is my opinion.
To delete my opinion, speak softly and carry a large branch. Once I have been silenced, you will have the option to further silence me, or leave me be.
Do you like ice cream