If you read this blog or watch through my window every morning from 7 to 7:30 A.M., you’ll know that I eat oatmeal almost everyday. The first result when you Google “Is oatmeal healthy?” is, “Oats are among the healthiest grains on earth,” and I have no choice to believe it completely without further research. I slightly prefer steel cut oats, but they take longer to make. As a young urban professional, I do not have the extra eight minutes to wait, and as a millennial, I do not have the mental fortitude to realize I can just prepare it ahead of time.
But this is not a post about oatmeal. I have done that. It was a raging success. It was nominated for the National Book Award despite the fact that it was not a book. No, this post is about maple syrup.
One of my roommates moved out a couple of weeks ago, and she did the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me: leave a 64-ounce jug of Vermont maple syrup in the freezer. I don’t think she even bought the syrup herself, and I don’t think she ever used it. She probably doesn’t realize she left it. But, as I always say, “The thought is not what counts; the gift is much more important.”
If you’ve never had real maple syrup, you should try it, because it is incredibly good. If you’re not sure if you’ve had real maple syrup before, you probably haven’t. There exists an entire subspecies of syrup called “pancake syrup,” which is essentially just fake maple syrup. I am not trying to diss pancake syrup, because I like pretty much any non-artificial sweetener, but the best pancake syrups are just ones that inoffensively approximate the real thing.
For some reason, in New York public schools, you are taught several times about the semi-complex process in which maple syrup is made. I specifically remember the fact that it takes 40 gallons of sap to make one gallon of maple syrup, and considering all the more useful things I could have learned instead, it is possible my entire education up to this point has been a failure. Basically people drill a hole into a tree, let sap run out, and then boil out the water. I am very glad I learned this.
My specific jug of maple syrup is “State of Vermont Pure Maple Syrup,” and it is honestly heartwarming to see a state claim so much ownership of a single product. On the jug, there’s a short blurb about how “Maple sugarmaking is a Vermont heritage,” (adorable) and a few words about how it is “ALL NATURAL,” (yup) “WILD-CRAFTED,” (kinda) “NUTRITIOUS,” (untrue) and “100% PURE,” (fo sho) but mostly they let the syrup speak for itself.
Maple syrup is so good. It is thick, but not globby, and it is sweet, but not in an overwhelming way. If you go to the Vermont Country Store, you can sample different kinds of maple syrup in tiny little cups. What other sweetener would you just consume on its own? I like honey, and I respect the hustle of bees, but I would not take a honey shot even it was shoved in my face by friendly DKE brothers.
Here’s a quick rundown:
Maple syrup on pancakes: good
On oatmeal: good
Consumed directly from a shot glass: good
As an ice cream flavor: pure fire
Spilt in large quantities on a bed: devastating
Maple syrup: 8.7/10
